we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
