Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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