Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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