when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
