is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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