Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
