my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize