I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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