whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
