Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
