im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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