i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize