Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
