i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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