After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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