you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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