i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Just pee around me
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
