She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
