I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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