I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
