i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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