Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
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