Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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