did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
