2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
