just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize