Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
