my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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