when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
