The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
