so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
