sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
