He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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