I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
