the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
