Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
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