well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
