Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize