I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize