I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
