My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
