Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
