I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
