we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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