that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
