So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
