I want to stick my p in your. b.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
