u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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