what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
