She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
