so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
