Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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