I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Randomize
