big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize